We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
