I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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