What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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