Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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