who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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