I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
