Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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