I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
