I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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