Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
