Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
