I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
