Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
