I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
