Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
