u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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