I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
