Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
