i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
