i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i think my cat just said my name.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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