Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
this just has baby written all over it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
