I cannot find my penis.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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