i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
