The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
