As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
