U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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