Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
