so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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