you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
