i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
