I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you win again, gameday.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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