I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
