The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
