Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
