Jerry, you need to find god
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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