I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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