did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
