I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
