you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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