We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
