so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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