Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
