Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
