We won't sleep together?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
