We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
