My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
