we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
