dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
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