wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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