Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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