in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
